'Ice Cream Man' Review
- John Odette
- 23 hours ago
- 3 min read
Release Date: 08/07/26 [Cinemas]
Genre: Horror. Thriller.
MPAA: Not Rated.
Distributor: The Horror Section. Iconic Events Releasing.
The Verdict: A Mistake
As the end credits rolled on Eli Roth’s latest horror entry, Ice Cream Man, I made for the exit, shaking my head in bewilderment. As I was processing my thoughts, a woman in the audience turned to her date and uttered what many of us present were thinking: “What the f--- did I just watch?”
At face value, this scathing question presents as a harsh indictment on Ice Cream Man, a bonkers tale of cursed ice cream turning kids into violent blood-shedding maniacs. In many ways, this assessment is correct. Roth’s film is full of over-the-top gore, a few chuckles, sprinkled with a hair-brained plot. Further speculation, and eventual conviction, of Roth’s use of AI, even for a minimal sequence, has all but damned this project by an already weary public.
This was not a good movie, but also not a completely irredeemable one either. There are quite a few aspects of Ice Cream Man that worked for me, much to my surprise. To say Roth’s back catalog of films is hit-or-miss is very generous. Cabin Fever and even Thanksgiving trafficked in quirky camp that entertained me, but the rest of his filmography I have all but forgotten.
Ice Cream Man joins the pack of goofy gore silliness of Roth’s better-received works. But make no mistake, this film is awful. Roth knows this, just like the audience does. He knows what story he is telling, even if I cannot completely understand why he is telling it.
The best parts of the film come from the performances and its bleak ending, which I will not reveal here. With summer looming and school winding down, young elementary school student Jared (Charlie Zeltzer) cannot participate in the indulgences of his friends, all eating ice cream off the truck from a mysteriously creepy vendor (Ari Millen). Jared is lactose intolerant and therefore doesn’t wake up later in the middle of the night under the ice cream’s poisonous spell, hacking the nearest adults to death. His parents, Marty (Eli Roth, himself) and Alison (Karen Cliche), leave town in the morning, leaving Jared to get to school himself while his older teenage sister Lizzie (Sarah Abbot), who also treated herself, lies paralyzed in bed. Apparently, the ice cream has alternate effects if one has gone through puberty.
Gradually, Jared and Lizzie band with other dessert-free survivors as the infected children maim, rip, shred, tear, hack, and destroy everyone in sight. One of the core strengths of an Eli Roth film is its devotion to gore. There is no shortage here; buckets of blood and organs fly off the screen. It is as sensational as it is disgusting.
The performances, as I mentioned, particularly from the lead children, are quite good given the subject material. There is an early dinner table scene with Jared and his family that felt right at home in a family dramedy, full of sweetness, tenderness, and joy. A scene that was so well executed, and better than it needs to be, it feels out of place with what’s to follow.
I haven’t spoken about the “lore” or the finer details of the story with the ice cream man himself, but Ari Millen’s antagonist works well in establishing the iconography of a creepy villain, even though the story does not allow him any deeper reaches. The boldest swing is Roth’s choice for the ending, a decision I admired quite a lot.
This is an Eli Roth film, and any expectations for Ice Cream Man to be anything else are ludicrous. Whether one enjoys his work or scorns it, this film is absolute. If someone is already not a fan of gore, ridiculous plots, or Eli Roth himself, Ice Cream Man is not a recommended selection. Even though it spurts out a few laughs, Ice Cream Man entertains too little and melts too quickly.