'Pinocchio Unstrung' Review
- Connor Petrey
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
Updated: 8 hours ago
Release Date: 07/24/26 [Cinemas]
Genre: Fantasy. Horror. Thriller.
MPAA: Rated R.
Distributor: ITN Distribution.
The Verdict: A Must-See
There’s something delightfully campy to witness 80 maniacal minutes of pure practical carnage from a true childhood IP that enthusiastically blends with the horror genre. Pinocchio Unstrung is a self-aware entry in the Twisted Childhood Universe and the best one yet. Rhys Frake-Waterfield’s vision is brutally disturbing fun, and the dedication to practical effects makes the wild kills all the more worthwhile.
Taking on the frame of the classic Pinocchio story with a twist, Geppetto crafts Pinocchio to be a “brother” to his grandson and soon turns sour as the wooden boy wants to be a real boy. To do so, he decides to slaughter cruel people and take parts of their bodies to become his own.
Beyond the remarkably satisfying animatronics and puppetry, voice actor Jude Evan Lloyd is a perfect depiction of this character, embracing the insane world premise with every line delivery. He has a sincere yet demonic energy that clasps onto the brutality of his actions. Pinocchio’s “brother” James, played by Cameron Bell, also works well in the scenario, with shock and horror met with almost immediate friendship. James’ lessons about anatomy were particularly comical as they’re used as preparation for the style of killings later on.
The kills are spontaneous, some fully utilizing the Pinocchio nature of the story like a nose through a bare foot or a nose through a nostril. Still, there are more Child’s Play resemblances, like the brutality in the teacher’s gym (which in and of itself is bizarre). Pinocchio is on screen for almost the entire film, and it’s clear that production adored their creation; it’s easy to be impressed with what was managed with so much practicality.
Robert England as the “helpful” Cricket, similar to the original tale, served as a guide to young Pinocchio. Still, a newly established character of Mother, bound to the walls of Geppetto’s home, prompts more out of the wooden boy. While I wish England’s sinister Cricket took all of these moments from Mother, it’s still just as effective either way.
The true standout beyond the effects goes to Richard Brake’s performance as Geppetto. From an insane clown in 31 to the father of the cellar-dwelling creature in Barbarian, this performance offers a side to Brake we haven’t really witnessed: a soft exterior with a horrific internalization. You’ve never seen a Geppetto quite like this!
But on the killjoy side, the supporting friends of Mia (Jessica Balmer) and Dudley (Jack Art Gray) offer only a possible added body count to the overall kill list, as while the actors do their best with the material, they serve no other purpose beyond filling the time.
A heart that isn’t his, a set of eyes and hair that don’t quite match, Pinocchio can try all he wants to become a real boy, but in his pure wooden heart he knows it just can’t be. Frake-Waterfield has undeniably given us the best entry in the Twisted Childhood Universe and maybe… this is what it should’ve been all along (no white lies told).