'They Will Kill You' Review
- Connor Petrey
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
Release Date: 03/27/26 [Cinemas]
Genre: Action. Comedy. Horror.
MPAA: Rated R.
Distributor: Warner Bros.
The Verdict: A Must-See
Do you ever get the feeling that the trailer is giving just too much away? That’s how I felt about They Will Kill You, until fifteen minutes in when my mind was blown. The trailer somehow gave nothing away and that seems incredibly difficult to understand until you’ve seen it for yourself. If you’ve not seen the trailer (somehow)… then disregard and just go see this movie!
Directed by Kirill Sokolov and produced by horror legends Andy and Barbara Muschietti (IT: Chapter One + Two), They Will Kill You is an absolutely bonkers fight for survival. Zazie Beetz (Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die) plays a woman on the hunt for her sister who happens to be locked away in an old gothic high-rise hotel, upon arriving she quickly receives the message “They Will Kill You” which she unfortunately ignores. From there chaos ensues and as the message states, the inhabitants of the hotel are in fact trying to kill her.
With Heather Graham (Suitable Flesh), Tom Felton (Fackham Hall), and Patricia Arquette (Severance) leading the opposing side - it’s quite the insane ensemble of personalities as blood is spilled and gore sprays the halls. In fashion with the blood fountain of Kill Bill, they make it rain red inside this hotel, accompanied by the goofy yet gross horrors of the original Evil Dead trilogy. Anything is a weapon, and anything is a death sentence within the confines of this mysterious establishment.
Layered with cutaways to provide more explanation behind some of the action of our willing and unwilling participants, They Will Kill You is sharply edited, allowing narrowly a breath in before more carnage candy can transpire. And while John Wick had the Continental where anyone that steps inside is safe from execution of the grounds, They Will Kill You's The Virgil certainly doesn’t abide by these rules as all bets are off when you decide to check in.
It’s brutal, it’s fun, it’s thrilling—it’s honestly nothing you’ll ever expect and by the end if you don’t audibly say “What the fuck,” —there is surely something the matter with your sensibilities. Swords, guns, pigs, and a satanic cult, this is destined to be a classic amongst those willing to devote themselves to the insanity within the film’s 94 minute massacre.
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